Four Strategies to Feel Less Frustrated in Your Relationship
Learn how to communicate better with your partner today. Couples EVERYwhere are feeling the impact of this last year.
It’s not easy. But, there’s hope.
You are not alone in your relationship frustrations. There are tools and strategies you can use to improve the situation and give you a break from the tension and heartache.
Find The Underlying Cause
Improve communication with your partner by finding the underlying cause. Understanding the underlying cause of your frustration can help you figure out how, or if, you respond. Is your frustration is caused by feeling unappreciated, unloved, unaccepted, unsafe, or misunderstood? For instance, if your partner is dismissive, your frustration might stem from feeling disrespected. Once you’ve figured out the underlying cause, you can be more focused. Describe the specific type of emotional hurt you feel. This is MUCH more likely to start a REAL conversation instead of a fight.
What It’s Important To Notice Your Triggers
You can improve communication with your partner when you become aware of your personal frustration triggers. Are you most likely to become frustrated when you haven’t eaten, when your partner uses the word “lazy”, when you’re talking about finances, or when your partner chastises you in front of the kids? Knowing your trigger points can save you both a world of hurt.
Note: Keep with the facts, not an accusation. For instance, try saying something like this: “When you correct me in front of the kids, I feel disrespected and embarrassed. Next time, could you ask me to help you with something in the other room (so we could speak privately)? I don’t want to feel resentful and frustrated the rest of the day. Instead, I want to feel like we’re on the same team.”
“We are stronger when we listen, and smarter when we share.”Rania Al-Abdullah
How To Start A Tricky Conversation?
- Broach the subject only after both of you have eaten, slept well and are undistracted.
- Start by expressing your feelings instead of focusing on your partner’s actions or behavior.
- Ideally, start the conversation outside on a walk or during physical activity – without your devices in hand.
- Before starting the conversation, remind yourself of your ideal outcome. What are you hoping for? What do you want most for your relationship? How you you want to feel more connected and aligned.
- *This is not a conversation to start at the end of a long day, in your bedroom, or on your way to a family get together!
- Note: Sharing your answers to these questions is a fantastic way to begin the conversation!
Take Space… But Explain Why
You can improve communication with your partner when you take some space. Sometimes your level of frustration is so high, you can hardly stand being in the same room as your partner. Taking some physical space is important. However, explain clearly WHY you need the space and WHAT you’re hoping will come of it.
For instance, “I’m feeling really frustrated and irritated right now. I’m going to go for a run after dinner. Then, I’ll be able to think clearly and not end up saying something that’ll just make the situation worse.” Verbally explaining what you’re doing can be extremely helpful. Otherwise, your partner might jump to conclusions or assume the worst if you temporarily disappear (either emotionally or physically).
For More Resources
Watch – Check out this short video for specific tips if you’re feeling UNAPPRECIATED. https://ambertrueblood.com/self_care_tips/feeling-unappreciated/
Listen – Check out this interview with Renee Warren for strategies on communicating better with your partner. https://ambertrueblood.com/podcast/episode-17-take-a-night-off/
Grow – Get dedicated help to change the trajectory of your relationship. https://goodstufffromamber.com/21momtips/mom-reset-1-1-1-1/
Get – More good stuff is available here. https://www.ambertrueblood.com/